Why should you be friends before dating
The hard part is figuring out which of those three things the person you’re seeing wants as well (assuming they even want anything from you at all). We trust more with our bodies than we do with our hearts. How many of you reading this have friends that know you more intimately than your significant other ever will? How many of us have had more than our fair share of short-lived ‘romances’? Chances are may of those instances left much to be desired. Yet there is no denying the dependability, growth and fulfillment we experience with our friends.
By putting your agenda to the side, you’ll eliminate the dating pressures and expectations which will result in a more genuine interaction. We are more preoccupied with being judged, and since there is an ‘unknown’ agenda on both ends, we tend to be much more guarded with our feelings making it a little more challenging to establish trust. Sh*t some of us don’t even trust our wives or husbands. Sure the dynamic is different, but a romance built similarly (in addition to the fire and desire) could be the difference between having another ‘passerby’ and the type of relationship you crave. No slut shaming here because life is about experiences; and truth be told all of our experiences including the one’s we feel we could have done without, serve a purpose. But philosophical bullsh*t aside, we all know damn well we wouldn’t have wasted nah a condom or two minutes of our lives with some of them ‘fresh faces’ we let into our bedrooms had we exercised a little due diligence. If this person is already exhibiting slightly concerning behavior while you are getting to know one another, can you imagine how much more turnt up it will be after ya’ll cross that bridge into lovers territory?
We want deeper intimate, romantic relationships/connections and we want them now! Yet such an approach often finds us in undesirable relationships with experiences we later regret and/or want to forget, or at the police station filing for a restraining order.
Now this isn’t to suggest that developing a friendship first will somehow help you to avoid all the nonsense.
What’s more, there are ways to resurrect the excitement of falling in love for long-term couples who are true friends.
That life gets in the way in the form of kids, mortgages, work, and in-laws should not dictate leaving the excitement behind.
black man and woman 6 – Opinionated " data-medium-file="https://opinionatedmale.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/black-man-and-woman-6-opinionatedmale-com.jpg? w=499" class=" wp-image-5715 alignright" src="https://opinionatedmale.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/black-man-and-woman-6-opinionatedmale-com.jpg? w=404&h=608" alt="black man and woman 6 - Opinionated Male.com" width="404" height="608" srcset="https://opinionatedmale.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/black-man-and-woman-6-opinionatedmale-com.jpg? Two weeks in, a few phone calls and several text messages later, you have an actual date or two (if you’re lucky these days). So well, that all that goodness leads you to the bedroom.
Dopamine, found in the brains of people who are addicted, is also involved. The level found in lovers is the same as that found in people experiencing obsessive compulsion.The thing is a lot of our modern ‘dating’ typically follows this pattern: Meet - Attempt to build a relationship/or simply go your separate ways.Somewhere in the middle of all this and typically after we’ve explored the bedroom is when a good many of us attempt to dig deeper into who this person actually is, or at least pay closer attention to them. I mean, that curiosity and desire to explore new terrain can be rather intoxicating.Fellas, maybe she doesn’t like to use coasters and the thought of her leaving watermarks all over your precious glass tables makes you wanna chuck kittens out the window.
Maybe its how filthy she keeps her own home or perhaps its her flare for dramatics that sends you running for the hills.
Researchers have pinned down the chemicals that flow in our brains and bodies when we have that rush of romantic excitement. A psychologist in York, England, had subjects who were complete strangers follow this protocol: They told each other intimate details of their lives for half an hour and then were directed to stare into each other’s eyes for another four minutes without speaking.