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26-Oct-2017 10:27

It was making me feel like crap, so I went to Europe, specifically Stockholm, and immediately got laid."For the time being, going to Europe is off the table for me, if only because I hid my passport from myself after a long-distance tryst with someone I'd met on a work trip went sideways.

Luckily, OKCupid's data is much more optimistic than my friend Chelsea.

Every conversation led to how I needed to lose 20#. So, I lost 30 pounds, whitened my teeth, updated my hair style and my wardrobe, and started pampering myself. We will be sharing a front lawn, and my office window overlooks where he parks his harley. Datinggoddess, is this a cruel joke, or a chance for me to exact revenge?

I also began working on my inside: My attitude, femininity, and self-esteem. Thank God for the Grapefruit Diet and my hula hoop. I know this letter is long, but I love to write, and feel a certain “kindredness” with you.

As I waded through Ok Cupid's endless questions and block of text, I imagined the countless men of New York City setting their age filters to 35 or, gasp, 39, and I wondered if it was true that anyone who didn't accept me as I am isn't worth knowing.

It never occurred to me in a serious way before this to lie about my age, even when I hit 30 or 35.

Still, the day after I turned 40, I decided to fire up an old profile and see what happened.

I'd taken a break from dating after a quick but hot liaison with a punk I'd met at a Damned concert petered out, but I wanted to, you know, put the vibes out there into the universe.

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Dating in my twenties and thirties made me feel like Odysseus, trying to choose between dashing myself on the ego-bruising rocks of casual romps or a slow death from unrequited lust for garbage humans.

I have found the most effective site to be Match.com, followed by

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